“If you really want to escape the things that harass you, what you’re needing is not to be in a different place but to be a different person right now.”
Pain happens to you. Stress happens through you. It is simply the reality of life. Both of these will happen! I know from experience, but it’s also just a fact of life.
But you do have control over how you move through life with these two, as hard as it is, and can feel at times.
How many of you feel stress? I’m sure there is not a single soul that says they don’t! If you don’t have stress, I would love to know how you do it!
I also want to clarify that not all stress is bad. We need stress to survive, motivate, cope, and push ourselves further. Our brains are millions of years old, so they are primitive. Caveman felt stress when they were running away from lions, and tigers, and we feel it today! It just looks very different. We need stress, but how much, and how we deal is it is what we need to differentiate…
Stress is your resistance to what’s happening. Life events may create temporary pain, but they do not in themselves create long-term stress – your resistance creates this stress. And it transpires most frequently in one of two ways (or a combination of the two)
You refuse to accept the present reality.
You choose to worry and think about every other time and place.
Thus, the only problem in your life at any given moment is your mind’s perpetual resistance to life as it unfolds.
Seems too simple? Let me elaborate a bit!
If you want to conquer the daily stress and anxiety of life, the first key is to live in the present – just BE here now. Which is so much easier said then done, I know, because I’m working on this everyday.
These past few months have been a little stressful, and I actually forgot how to move through stress, because I don’t encounter it on a daily basis, which is what lead me to this post.
So today I want to share a few things I’ve learned along the way, but also things that I work on every single day. We will all live with stress for the rest of our lives! Therefore finding ways to cope with it, move through it, and channel it differently, is the key to living a healthy, vibrant and joyful life. Stress can destroy your health, and life, and that is the LAST THING I WANT FOR YOU!
Here are a few things that I’ve been meditating on and really putting into practice since reflecting on this past 5-6 weeks //
Take off your mask. – Let people around you see the real, imperfect, quirky, weird, beautiful, magical person you are. That is enough. It’s hard, but don’t listen to haters, or people that don’t resonate with you who you are. Not everyone will!!! I’ve learned this through my own journey of putting myself out there more…I’ve had people tell me I’m too happy or positive! ALL I can do is send them love, and not think about it for another second. It’s not worth it. I will never, ever apologize for being too happy! And neither should you.
Trust your intuition. – You don’t need to explain or justify your feelings to everyone, just trust your own inner guidance, it often knows best.
Let go of the thoughts that aren’t serving you. – Right this moment, your thoughts are setting the direction for your day. Choose thoughts that lead to the day you most desire to live today.
Firmly decide what matters and what doesn’t. – Stress comes from the way you react, not the way life is. The meaning of everything in your life is the meaning you give it. Inner peace begins the moment you choose to be mindful by not allowing another person or event to dominate your emotions.
Take a deep breath when you need one. – You don’t have to solve every problem in your life before you can enjoy being at peace.
Keep sanity in your schedule. – Sometimes we have to say “no” to good things to be able to say “yes” to important things. We can’t do it all. Be mindful and choose wisely.
Practice gratitude. – If you look for reasons to be grumpy, you’ll find plenty of them. Look instead for reasons to be grateful, and see them everywhere. Remind yourself how fortunate you are to be experiencing this moment right here, right now. The more you appreciate it, the better it’ll be.
Detach yourself from the habit of taking things personally. – If you take everything personally, you’ll remain offended for the rest of your life. What other people do is often because of them, not you!!!
Realize you likely need a lot less than you have. – The richest person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least. Wealth is a mindset. Want less and appreciate more today.
Fill your life with lots of experiences, not lots of things. – Physical clutter often creates emotional clutter. Focus on having incredible stories to tell, not incredible clutter in your closets.
Just do your best and appreciate it. – Regardless of what happens today, remember, you won’t enjoy your life if you don’t enjoy your challenges. And the very challenges that seem so hard when you’re going thru them are the ones you’ll look back on with gratitude for how far you’ve come.
Focus on the positive. – Positive thinking isn’t about expecting the best to happen every time – it’s about accepting what happens every time, and making the best of it. In other words, a sincerely positive attitude is not a reaction to the way things are – it’s an expression of the way you choose for things to be.
Let go of what’s no longer there. – Letting go is oftentimes a step forward. Sometimes you have to be willing to walk away from what you thought you wanted, to find what you truly need. So don’t let your fears and pains of the past affect your outlook on the present. Live for what today has to bring, not what yesterday has taken away.
Be humble. Be teachable. – An open mind is always less stressed. Remember, the world is bigger than your view of the world. There’s always room for a new idea, a new step…a new beginning.
Take small daily steps. – Thinking too long about doing something is often the reason it never gets done. Don’t obsess about hitting home runs every second. Just get on base, daily. Build positive rituals into your life. Be faithful. Be tenacious. Have integrity. Have fun. Be steadfast. Trust yourself.
Embrace self-discipline. – If you run away from self-discipline it punishes you. When you embrace self-discipline it enables you to achieve the most incredible things (including peace of mind).
Practice patience as you work for your desires. – In a culture yearning and tempted by instant gratification, we must learn the value of patience and perseverance. Be present. Be steadfast.
Exercise your love. – Our stresses, anxieties, frustrations, and heartache often arise simply because we do not see the world, others, or even ourselves as worthy of love.
Spend time with supportive, loving people. – Your capacity to be both effective and happy is directly related to the quality of people whom most closely surround you every single day. And in these relationships, the little things often mean the most.
So today, just be 100% present with those you love – BE ALL THERE. That is enough. (love you Jacob + girlgang + family + friends)
Walk away from drama gracefully. – Wherever there’s lots of drama, there’s often lots of lying, manipulation and needless stress.
Sleep on it. – If all else fails, the best advice I’ve found is still just to “sleep on it.” Give yourself some needed downtime. Everything changes in the morning.
And I want to leave you with a little reminder:
Whatever is happening in your life right now…
No beating yourself up! No matter what!
Even if life has been stressful lately, and you’re a long way from successfully implementing the ideas and strategies discussed in this post, that’s OK. Be patient with yourself. It likely took you years to form the habits, routines and life situations that are creating needless stress in your life. So it will naturally take some time to form new and better ones. But I promise you this: Even the smallest step in the right direction today will bring you some peace. Take that step. And then take another one tomorrow.
If you’re looking for major and sustainable transformation in all areas of your life, let’s chat! I offer Free 15 minute consults, where we can just chat and see if working together is a good fit moving forward. I so look forward to connecting over a session.
If what you read lit a fire in your belly, or made your heart beat quicker share it with a loved one, family, or friend who might need to hear these words. Sharing is caring, and giving is living!
Have a beautiful start to your week,